in my head

 thats a really good song ... but thats not what i mean  i have a great family  and man in my life but latly i have been feely really bad about my self  and i dont know why  i feel like theres something going wrong with me like imnot good enough to deserve what i  now have  i almost feel like things are going to blow up in my face soon so i get myself prepared instead of enjoying what i have in my life right now  everything is great except for me  i wan to t feel like i deserve what i have in my life  and i want to be able to enjoy it  not always worry when the ball is going to drop  i feel like my man and me who have never faught  are going down hill  and i know its just me  and i try to hide it from him but he knows me so well that he knows when somethings wrong i think my big issue is i am trying to lose weight  and its noty happeneing as fast as id like it to i try hard and all day im goods but come supper time im done. i will eat what ever my family eats and thats not good  cause they like crappy stuff  like icecream  and i have sometimes swicherdfrozen fruit for the ice cream  but halloween candy is still around and my worst thing is with chocolate i cant see it without eating it  i try not to have it around me but then my man will go buy some  i need to be able to say  hun u can have it i dont want it  but thats really hard  i just need to have good will power  and i used to for a bit but when i get happy i eat wich is weird usually its when peoplearent happy thery seem to eat more  wow i must be backwords